What about kids?

I used to hate kids. I mean, because they used to like me. They like to sidle up to me quietly and watch me at my table like some kind of zoo specimen, or they'll just run around wildly in circles before stopping before me, say something apparently rude or friendly and laugh. In both cases, they would end up with their mothers calling them sharply by their names and they'll run back.

That, sort of freaked me out. I usually don't know what to do except stare at them and smile. It's like I don't have a proper response to them and they are so... unpredictable.

But now, I think kids exude some kind of feeling and emotions inside you that only they can do. Maybe it's their innocence or their sense of awe. I think it's the sense of awe.

People plod through life day by day. Even in uni, we just wake up, stare back up to the same ceiling, do the usual morning routine in the usual place - be it showering, brushing teeth, going through the hassle of dragging an outfit from the closet that hopefully wouldn't look too horrible. Anyway I suppose people do go through days in a sort of a blur, just doing what they need to do, getting to places on time and having lunch and sharing talk with friends. Then you go home and sleep and start all over again.

Kids see things differently, I feel. A small thing to them is a surprise. That mum brought back dessert tonight, or you could stay up 10 minutes later to watch television. Simple pleasures, I think. Or have we lost the awe at discovery because we have nothing to discover anymore? Or is it the burden of organising your own life that you never had as a child?

Also, the frankness of declaring their feelings and attachment. I think, as we get older, we start to get afraid of revealing our feelings, because that gets you judged and might say that you're "weak". Children yell out with suprising gusto and hug you so tightly when they really love you. What ever happened to that as we grew older? We stopped loving? I don't think so. It's just that we get afraid of saying "I love you" because we don't know what's going to happen when you lay your heart out. But kids do that, they tell you when they love you, that they need your touch and reassurance. Even when they hate you they still love you. Do we all really want to be strong by not caring, by looking like you won't be hurt by anything? That means we're independant and strong right, not being attached or caring?

Oh yes, I still think of the kid who got his lollipop stuck in my hair on the plane. That, was not nice.


But really, we should see life more openly, more honestly, I feel. Just one of those thoughts.