Break time?

Dear Blog,

Due to the recent exams and the fact that I'll probably be gallavanting around not-so-aimlessly after the exams, updates will be postponed til later. Does not mean I'm dead (not yet, at least)

Thank you.

-Patricia

What is this life?

What is this life, if full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare?
-Leisure, by W.H. Davies

One of my favourite poems is Leisure, by William Henry Davies. It truely speaks of the society today that seems to be forever chasing that ubiquitious goal of success while feeling unfulfilled in the 24(+3) hours of life they managed to pack in a day.

I feel stressed. We all feel stressed. Maybe it's not more than just another word to toss around these days. 'Oh crap, my car broke down, I'm so stressed. Now I've got to go get it fixed and I'm late for work/uni/whatever already'. Or 'I got a crap mark on my report, I'm so stressed out now'. Or the bus had a flat tire, my wife had a baby, the bus had a baby...

I'm not challenging the fact that we're stressed, nor do I say that there isn't stress in any of those situations. It's just... I feel that where has the simple joys of life gone? Where has the feeling of grass between your toes and catching tadpoles in the drain... or sailing paper boats down the sidewalk... where has it gone?

Instead people go for spas, and relaxation sessions and all. I don't know about you but I'll feel stressed the moment the bill comes. I don't mean to say they don't work. It's just that I feel that we should stop and take a breather sometimes.

Bake a cake. Watch the rain fall outside the window. Read something silly.


I try to tell myself that when you stop and look sometimes, time doesn't run away from you. In reality, it doesn't stop. It doesn't let you cram in that last bit of Chemistry that you can't remember, or let you get more chores or errands done. But do I really want to go through life not feeling pleasure in seeing how the raindrops can race themselves down the glass window pane in such meandering streaks, or how the squares of streetlights race by at night in the car, flickering by like a warm illumination to tell you that you're not alone?

I like that little crook of time to yourself.

And I think standing and staring -- and letting the time pass by, sometimes -- is just fine.

Desktop Wallpapers Post #1

Okay, so the post about life and thoughts in general didn't materialise. Hopefully the food for thought will come to me soon. BUT, this is what happens when you feel like taking a break in between studying and don't know what to do:

These were made using Adobe Photoshop CS2 and credits to various brushes from deviantart.com and www.obsidiandawn.com. All are for personal use only.

Blue Floral - Full size here

Retro Girl - Full size here

Chinese Panda - Full size here

Awe of Nature - Full size here

Where has the week gone?

Where has the week gone?

I mean, seriously, where has the week gone?

This few days, and perhaps the following weeks I suppose, would be a hectic rush to cram for the upcoming examinations. And yes I haven't updated because I was a) too tired to think, b) overwhelmed by the amount of stuff to study, c) too tired to think, d) would rather sleep and watch something that requires me not to think, and e) too tired to think.

Yes, I realised I counted "too tired to think" three times.

Anyway, here's the "what has been happening last week" report.

Jo's birthday. We planned very much ahead for the surprise party and it worked! Haha. Jo was so surprised. A few of us conned him into staying back to study, and dragged him out on an errand, only to end up at Yuen Steamboat where the others where there to yell surprise at him. We got him a beanie and *ahem* some gag gift.

This was the apparent lovely, organised way we set about starting the steamboat buffer dinner.


And as you can see here, this was the disaster that resulted in the end. Stacks of plates, chopsticks and debris strewn in almost boiled-dry soup. Yay.


Anyway, Jo, hope you had a great birthday. Rock on, homie! Haha.

I also had lunch with a bunch of my college friends. It's funny that it's so hard for us to get together even if we're in the same city and country. I guess everyone has their own lives and timetables. Went back to Asia Cafe for lunch to enjoy the "noglastic" feeling of being back at our college area, and had dessert at Subang Parade. Then back home to hit the books again. I enjoyed myself. You guys are loads of fun xD

Oh yes, and I joined a walkathon to Go Green. Why I don't know... so just... go green! Woohoo.

Besides studying and complaining about studying, I guess there isn't much else left to "report".

Another post coming up on thoughts and things in life in general =)

What about kids?

I used to hate kids. I mean, because they used to like me. They like to sidle up to me quietly and watch me at my table like some kind of zoo specimen, or they'll just run around wildly in circles before stopping before me, say something apparently rude or friendly and laugh. In both cases, they would end up with their mothers calling them sharply by their names and they'll run back.

That, sort of freaked me out. I usually don't know what to do except stare at them and smile. It's like I don't have a proper response to them and they are so... unpredictable.

But now, I think kids exude some kind of feeling and emotions inside you that only they can do. Maybe it's their innocence or their sense of awe. I think it's the sense of awe.

People plod through life day by day. Even in uni, we just wake up, stare back up to the same ceiling, do the usual morning routine in the usual place - be it showering, brushing teeth, going through the hassle of dragging an outfit from the closet that hopefully wouldn't look too horrible. Anyway I suppose people do go through days in a sort of a blur, just doing what they need to do, getting to places on time and having lunch and sharing talk with friends. Then you go home and sleep and start all over again.

Kids see things differently, I feel. A small thing to them is a surprise. That mum brought back dessert tonight, or you could stay up 10 minutes later to watch television. Simple pleasures, I think. Or have we lost the awe at discovery because we have nothing to discover anymore? Or is it the burden of organising your own life that you never had as a child?

Also, the frankness of declaring their feelings and attachment. I think, as we get older, we start to get afraid of revealing our feelings, because that gets you judged and might say that you're "weak". Children yell out with suprising gusto and hug you so tightly when they really love you. What ever happened to that as we grew older? We stopped loving? I don't think so. It's just that we get afraid of saying "I love you" because we don't know what's going to happen when you lay your heart out. But kids do that, they tell you when they love you, that they need your touch and reassurance. Even when they hate you they still love you. Do we all really want to be strong by not caring, by looking like you won't be hurt by anything? That means we're independant and strong right, not being attached or caring?

Oh yes, I still think of the kid who got his lollipop stuck in my hair on the plane. That, was not nice.


But really, we should see life more openly, more honestly, I feel. Just one of those thoughts.